I can't believe it's not butter!

FABIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Ok, Fabio winning was NOT what I expected at all. He comes from behind on the first immunity challenge of the finale, and saves himself again. Dan gets voted off, no surprise. Final Four: Holly, Chase, Fabio, Sash. Didn't see that coming in the beginning of the season. I never would've guess any of those for the final four. They come back, and Fabio knows he is on the outs. He knows his only shot is winning immunity. Cut to day 38. The predictable "reflect on the people who got voted off before you." Man, this show is so predictable, following the same formula every year. Final three, visit from home challenge, reflect on the people that "got you here," merge, hidden immunity, etc. Back to the final immunity challenge. And, as always, final challenge is some kind of stamina/balance challenge. First Holly goes, then Chase, leaving Sash and Fabio to battle it out. Fabio wins, and the final three is now unsettled. Definitely didn't see Fabio making it there, battling through adversity to get there. Good for him. Now comes the scrambling. And Sash knows he's the odd man out. He knows Chase and Holly want him gone, so what does he do? He straight up lies to Fabio. There's no way he would've taken Fabio. Serious? Fortunately, Fabs sees through the BS and doesn't believe him. After this final episode, I realized I never gave Fabs credit for being as smart as he is. I don't think he played as good a strategy game as the others, but he played a smart people reading game.

Fast forward to Tribal. Fabio outs Sash as a liar, and I couldn't help laughing. The jury doesn't believe Sash, and Sash loses a million bucks. I think Fabio knew this would happen, and votes of Holly. Smart move. Holly pretty much had a million if she made it to the final, and give her credit for making a concerted effort to make it there. She tried hard, but ultimately Fabs and Chase vote her off, and now for the jury showdown. While the season was full of idiots and dumb moves, I was actually surprised at how decent the jury was. Highlights from the final jury showdown included: Jane calling Sash a sewer rat while looking like one herself (*shudder*), Chase flat out telling Marty he was (in Marty's own words) "dumber than a sack of hammers," and Dan saying Chase and Sash stabbed him in the back (really Dan? They didn't have any allegiance/alliance with you at all!).

Fast forward again to LA. The counting of the votes. Chase has put on weight, Sash looks more flaming than during the season, and Fabs has a haircut (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!). Chase takes a quick 4-1 lead, and I all of a sudden get sad. Chase? Really? Fabio pulls out 4 straight votes and takes the title of Sole Survivor! I jump up and run around the living room. Thank JESUS Chase or Sash didn't win! Phew...good ending to a rather crappy season.

Fabio winning introduces a TOTALLY new way to play the game and win...maybe? Maybe it's only for when you're playing with idiots, but it's still a viable option. It's a social game while playing dumb. Not so much dumb, just...well I don't know how to describe it. He just came alive at the end, when it mattered. Just hang out, don't disrupt anything until you have immunity, and then watch others unravel in front of the jury. I doubt this works with smart gameplayers like Russel, Boston Rob, Parvati or anyone else like that, but it worked this season. He layed around, waiting for his moment. That came at Tribal calling out Sash, and that won him a million. Not the most strategic, never was in power until the final 3 tribals when he had immunity, but had the power when it was needed most. Outwit, outlast, outplay. He outwitted Sash at the end, outplayed Chase at the end, and outlasted everyone by winning the 5 minimum necessary votes at the end. Congrats to Fabio, and a giant thank you for ending this season on a high note. I haven't seen the Reunion show yet, but will soon, and looking forward to seeing where the next season is going to be.

Only the finale is left

What a...boring...episode. Fabio was next on the line, the writing was on the wall, but he won immunity! Thank God, the only person left that actually is worth rooting for wasn't going home. But before we get into what was the most interesting Tribal of the season, there are some things I need to complain about to the producers of Survivor. The Reward Challenge was predictable. Family members come running out of the woods for the big reunion hug, lots of tears, then a challenge where they help try to win an immediate trip to someplace beautiful. The winner also gets to take two other Survivors with them, and usually the left out people get hurt and cry back at camp. Is there another way to do this producers? Your show has become SO predictable sometimes. The only thing unpredictable about this season is when the power play going to come? The closest thing to a power play was Sash and Chase voting Brenda off. This season is boring if that's all we got.

So Chase wins reward, and after promising Fabio he would take him, spurns him for Holly. I definitely saw that coming, as Chase is stupid and not playing for Jury votes (assuming he makes it to the final 3). He continually promises people that he will take them on rewards and never takes them. He is a bigger liar than anyone ever on Survivor, and it's not because he's ruthless. It's because he's stupid. Of course, rightfully so, Jane and Fabio were both pissed. The perplexing thing was Dan. Nobody cares about him, so why was he upset Chase didn't pick him? Dan is just a body that no one will ever vote for because he is the corpse they drag along as a vote/easy loser of a million. All things aside, Fabio turns his anger and frustration into an immunity win, and things are better for fans of the show. The best part was when Jane joined the power 3, and they told her they were voting her off. She then became a little 4 year old and throws water on the fire. I laughed so hard, and couldn't believe how the tide had turned. Two episodes ago, Sash was the power person out of the final 3. Seriously Chase, you change your mind way too much. The true Sole Survivor has a plan, and sticks with it. I have never seen the person with the most power make so many changes and for no other reason than he's wishy-washy.

Tribal comes around, and (of course this would happen after I praise his skills a week earlier) Jeff TOTALLY tries to change the game. He basically told Jane, Fabio and Dan that if they forced a tie they might break up the big 3 that is going to the final 3. I couldn't believe what I was seeing! I have never seen Jeff basically tell people how to vote. It was unreal, and I think he is as bored with this season as I am. But of course, in keeping with the theme of this season, Dan and Fabio are too dumb to make any kind of move and Jane gets voted off. My analysis of the recently eliminated Jane and the final 5.

Jane - I honestly am glad she's gone. Now I don't have to listen to her talk anymore. Although I have to be honest, I thought she could've made her plea to Fabio and the corpse a little a) sooner and b) more desperately. Now that she's gone, we don't have to deal with her drawl anymore...phew!

Dan - AKA The Corpse. Somehow he's still here. Oh, and his kid looked NOTHING like him. Lucky kid. Whatever Dan is doing it's working, but I get the feeling it's being incompetent, lazy and unathletic. He's the least likely person of the season to make it this far. Probably not just for this season, but in the history of Survivor he's the worst final 5 member.

Fabio - Still my favorite player left, he had the chance to earn some votes, kick off Holly, and make a move to solidify a probable final 3 spot. Now the only way he makes it to the final group is winning 2 more immunity challenges. Here's to him becoming Australia's Colby, but with how good Chase is at challenges I doubt that happens.

Chase - I know that I said he's the most powerful player left, and I will clarify. While I think Sash is calling the shots, Chase is more powerful because of his athleticism and challenge success. He won't win though, because no one on the jury thinks he is a good player, and I agree. He wouldn't have lasted this long any other season, but with the idiots that are on this season he is still around.

Sash - The only smart person left. And I say smart loosely. I still don't know what to think of him, but I am pretty sure he is your Nicaragua winner. Holly is his only competition for the win left. They both have played the best game this season, and he has been in the power alliance this whole game. But he did have to switch to get into the newest power alliance, making the right decision I guess. I don't know, this season just hasn't been that good.

Holly - The only woman left, and probably the second most likely to win. She has stayed in her alliance and made the decisions to get them to the most powerful. She made the right decision to vote Jane off, and didn't really break any promises to her like Chase, not really burning any jury votes. I am pretty sure she has the most jury votes outside of Sash. This is, of course, assuming the power 3 make it to the final.

Ok, my predictions for the finale tonight. Fabio doesn't win the first immunity, gets voted off. Dan then gets voted off without a fight. Wow, I just put Dan in the final four...ouch... The final three then does the long walk reflecting on all the other stupid people from this season, then we get to the jury vote. What will Nay say? How harsh will Jane be? What will Marty and Brenda say to Chase and Sash? Can't wait for the jury time, but I don't care who wins. If I had to guess (and I do since this is my "predictions section"), Sash wins in a 5-3-1 vote over Holly and Chase respectively. Then everyone quits watching, as no one cares about a reunion show, and looks forward to next season with less idiots and hopefully a less predictable sequence of events.

Survivor

I have been contemplating doing this type of blog for a few weeks, and finally did it! This is my blog for my thoughts on "Reality" TV. Today's blog post; Survivor: Nicaragua. First of all, I liked the young/old split, but it was too predictable the young tribe would defeat the older tribe. I LOVED Jimmy Johnson on the show, but knew he had no shot last as long with how famous he is. Now, with those 2 things out of the way, let's look at the final 6 contestants.

Dan - if you had told me after the first episode Dan would end up in the final 6 I would NEVER have believed it. He is the most physically inept, strategically lacking contestant to last this long. He aligns with the wrong people (Marty, Fabio, Benry) and somehow never gets voted off. The only reason he has lasted this long is cuz he's no physical threat and he would get zero votes for the million. I think he's gone after Fabio, but Dan...you never had a shot...I had a better shot at winning Survivor: Nicaragua than you.

Chase - while somewhat in the power seat, Chase is also another dummy. He had Sash on his side no matter what this last episode, but he never makes a smart move. While he is a lock to make it to the top 3 with his alliance and the immunity idol, he shouldn't win any votes on the jury. I hope. He has been inconsistent and panicky way too much to be the ultimate Survivor.

Fabio - the only player left I actually like. And not because I like his game, but because he has a personality that is likeable. Most of the players left have no personality (Dan, Chase) or too much (Jane, Holly), but Fabio is just himself. He hasn't been a strategy/backstabber type of player, he just is being himself. That isn't going to get him a million dollars, but it got him this far. Outside of Sash, I think he is the only person I would vote for to win if I had to choose between the 6 left.

Jane - her voice is like fingernails on chalkboard. I respect the fact she is doing well in challenges, but I can't stand her. I liked her when she was gunning for Marty, but other than that she should be quiet and go fish. I laughed so hard when she was crying over a freakin' chicken. She was getting pampered and eating nice and is upset she didn't get to say goodbye...whatever...go home then

Holly - while her voice isn't as annoying to me as Jane's, she opens her mouth to talk and I immediately cringe because she is stupid (stupid contestants is the theme of this season of Survivor). She thinks she's much better than she is, but can we all agree that outside of Sash (and maybe Fabio if he played his cards right), none of these contestants would have made it past the first Tribal last season? Seriously!

Sash - easily the best player left. While I can't stand him, he HAS to be the winner right? He holds an immunity idol, with no alliance left after Nay and Kelly Purple quit, he somehow managed to gain control of last Tribal by announcing himself as a swing vote. Not brilliant, but it looked that way standing next to Chase, Benry, Fabio, Jane, Holly and...wait who is the corpse still left?...oh yeah Dan...right. Sash will have a rough time breaking up Holly, Jane and Chase, but if he plays that idol at the right time he will win himself a million. Guaranteed.

Other notes about this season:

Marty - how could someone so full of himself be SO stupid? Thinks he's master strategist but was terribly stupid. Gave up an immunity idol to last another week. That's it? That's all you get Mr. Survivor for a FREAKIN' IMMUNITY IDOL?!? Yikes...

Brenda - best player of the season, but got too cocky and got voted off.

Nay/Kelly Purple - awful, horrible, and inexplicable. The fact those 2 are on the jury pisses me off beyond words. If you can't handle 11 more days...I don't need to say more. It just irks me more than it irked Jeff. Did you see his face when they quit? Priceless...

Jeff - the guy is ageless, I swear. He looks the EXACT same as season 1. That, and I can't get over how amazing of a host he is. It can't be that easy of a job, but he does it with such ease, and I have to give him his due props.

With that said, I look forward to the finale, it should be...fun? Either way, the final Tribal should be great with some of these retards trying to defend themselves for a million. Imagine Dan trying to answer WHY he deserves the million dollars as the "Sole Survivor"...it won't happen...but it would be hysterical...

Stay tuned for more...Reality Blogging...