Your Dad is Cool...

Remember when you were little and your dad did something to embarrass you? It may have been something cheesy he said to your friend or maybe that "not cool" outfit he wore when he took you on an errand. The thought that lingered in my mind after last nights show was,"Aren't just glad Phillip is not your dad." See, there is pretty much nothing your dad could ever do that could be more embarrassing then being Phillip. Perhaps this sound rather cruel, but when you hunt for crabs in loose pink briefs, well... enough said (not to mention too much seen, of Phillip that is).

Updated Survivor Power Rankings - 3-24

After a haiatus from posting, I am updating my rankings as to who has the most power in the game at the current moment. I think #1 is the most obvious, as well as #2, but after that things seem to be a little fuzzy...

1. Rob - is there anyone that has more control over his tribe and his game right now? The hidden immunity idol is the kicker though, as he will have to be voted out TWICE to actually be eliminated.

2. Grant - a stud at challenges, and has the inside alliance with Rob that will be too tough to beat down the stretch. Easily could make it to the finale Colby-style, but is playing a good strategy being Rob's #2 guy, making himself less of a target while being just as strong a player.

3. Mike - while I don't think anyone from Zapatera really is in control, he is the biggest physical threat on their tribe (but don't ask Grant that), and seems to be cool, calm and collected, which is more than you can say for most of that tribe.

4. Julie - who saw the 50 year old firefighter chick being this high in the rankings at this point in the game? I sure didn't. The only person I could fathom to put ahead of her was Ralph for the sole fact that he has an idol. Julie is playing a solid game, seems to be on good terms with her alliance, and has never been on the chopping block.

5. Andrea - I like her more and more as the season goes along. She has the respect of Rob and Grant because she helps out at camp and does pretty well in challenges. She also seems to be smarter than I first pegged her as, and I think she could go pretty far in this game (especially if/when Matt gets back).

6. Ralph - I liked him for about 10 minutes of this season. I thought he was funny when he found the idol, but now I think he's an idiot. He only gets this high for the idol he has, but EVERYONE knows he has it cuz he's an idiot and without thinking blurted it out to piss off Russell. How has he not even been talked about being on the chopping block? Really Zapatera?

7. Ashley - she isn't as annoying as Natalie, and that's saving her. If she stepped it up around camp and quit being so friendly with Natalie (seriously? Scissors on your armpits and legs? Gross!) she could become a player with Rob and Grant. Maybe even make a power play with the girls and vote the boys off? She seems to passive to do a power move, and potential power doesn't translate to high rankings here...

8. Steve - While David is better for challenges and around camp, Steve is higher up in the alliance because he hasn't tried to stir things up. He looks like the worn down offensive lineman he is, and that won't help him when the merge comes. No strategy, just an alliance he is loyal to.

9. David - obviously he lost his bid to get Sarita off, but he gets points for trying something. Points don't get you high in the rankings when they're unsuccessful points. I like him somewhat, probably my second favorite on that tribe (surprisingly after Julie), just because he has the same strategy at this point in the game I would: win at all costs, alliance aside.

10. Natalie - won't last long, unless Rob carries her to the final so he gets more votes. She is weak, lazy, and is rubbing people the wrong way almost as much as Philip. At least she doesn't wear loose pink briefs right?

11. Philip - he gets this spot because his team is on a winning streak. The next to go on his tribe, and an idiot. I think I have nothing to really say on him this post. He can't be trusted at a merge, no telling WHAT he will say, and that's why he is gone asap.

12. Sarita - your team is on a losing streak, you put your hand up IMMEDIATELY when Probst asked for someone to sit out, you should be gone. Complaining about bacteria in your mouth should be the least of your worries on Survivor, man up, grow some juevos and outlast someone!


Two more quick scenario adjustments to this rankings based on if the merge happened RIGHT after the Matt-Stephanie duel on Redemption Island:

Matt wins - he goes to the middle, right above all Zapatera people. Does Rob really want him around longer than one of the girls with his duel-winning run? No. But will he keep him around long enough to hold numbers? Yes.

Stephanie wins - she catapults up to #1 because she holds the most important vote, but she holds that spot for maybe an episode. Zapatera tribe takes the bottom 6 spots because we know she won't stay with them.

Basically, unless Zapatera wins the next challenge, they are SCREWED. Throwing the challenge to get rid of Russell has really put them in a funk and they need to get out of that immediately to have a chance at making it far post merge. Their only other hope is that Ralph guesses who they're voting for, gives them the idol, and they pull off a successful blindside to last another week. I don't see the merge happening in the next 2 episodes, but I assume Redemption Island will be done with when the merge comes.

"Let that be a lesson to you..."

Best quote of the night. Easily.

{I don't really have anything else to say at this time. SO yeah. ;-D}

Survivor Power Rankings

While I don't really know much about the other tribe quite yet, it is clearly defined that Boston Rob is the man in this season so far. He has his 6 strong alliance which will kill at the merge, and everyone on said alliance doesn't dare backstab him.

Thus, here are the power rankings after 1 episode...albeit a little lame because we don't know much about loser Russel's tribe...

1. Boston Rob - Kristina pathetically tried to vote him off, and it blew up in her face, thus showing how powerful this guy really is and how much "celebrity" sway he has already in his tribe.

2. Russell - while I hate putting him here cuz he's an idiot, he clearly is in control (for now) of his tribe which did win the first immunity challenge.

3 - 15 have yet to truly come into the light, because none of them have blown it as badly as these last 3...

16. Secret Agent Man - I know his name is Phillip, but I think he will be nicknamed FBI or something for the remainder of the season. Is anyone really going to pull him into an alliance or secret vote anymore at all? That was the best tell-all at tribal I have EVER seen!

17. Kristina - the immunity idol and some semblance of strategy should put her above Phillip, but she is ridiculously stupid! Blindsiding your best player at the first tribal, without numbers, using a VALUABLE immunity idol to do it is downright STUPID

18. Francesca - Sorry, the tribe has spoken...is there anyone out there that thinks she will last on Redemption Island by herself?

Survivor: Redemption Island Episode One. Yes.

Boston Rob is back. This is exciting.

Last season the most exciting part of each night was seeing if Dan would be able to walk three steps at a time or just two. This season is already much better.

I was greatly amused by Rob and Russell's respective greetings. Rob stepped off the plane and everyone started cheering. Russell showed up and there was silence-- broken only by an "OH NO!".

Brilliance.

The first Immunity Challenge was already nerve-wracking. I was watching the show with a friend and she threatened to leave if I didn't stop standing on the couch, screaming. Of course, that challenge was really not very fair. Russell's team has five guys and one lady who I'm pretty sure is actually a guy. Rob's team had only four guys, and one of those guys was a crazy "former government agent", so.... Yeah. It was actually quite  impressive that Rob's team managed to gain so much ground on the puzzle. If Rob had been on the other team that challenge wouldn't have even been close.

Although, it was excruciatingly depressing to have Russell's team win the first challenge, at least that meant we didn't have to see very much of him for the rest of the episode.

The tribal council was just WOWZIE KAZAM! Kristina, Francesca (or Franquesca...I've heard it both ways...;-D), and the former government agent are literally just annoying brilliance. I was fascinated by Kristina's idea that because she had the idol (and three votes), she would be able to overthrow Boston Rob and his 6 votes. That was well-thought out. I am quite pleased with who was voted out. I would have been even more delighted to see Kristina (and the idol) gone, but this was still pretty awesome. All three members of that now-imploded alliance (from what I gather, the only members left are Kristina and the idol-- which I'm sure she'll count as five people) did not understand the concept of a Tribal Council. AMAZING!

The best moment of the episode for me, was the one pictured at the top of this post:

The former government agent WOULD NOT TELL A LIE and informed Boston Rob of everything his alliance had been planning to do. (I don't even want think about the vital secrets of our country's defense being entrusted to him: "Mr. Castro, I have something to tell you. I am not trusted member of your inner group of advisers. I'm actually a US government agent. Okay, now, that we have that little falsehood cleared up...we'll be able to work together much better!") At the climax of this awesome confusion, Boston Rob asked Kristina to give him the idol...she totally almost did. IT WAS HILARIOUS. Boston Rob literally has that much power over these people that he's totally allowed to just ask for an enemy alliance member's immunity idol in the middle of Tribal Council and it's seems normal.

Anyway, it was an awesome premiere and I hope the rest of that alliance disappears soon so Boston Rob can dominate (more) and make it to the merge so he can take out Evil Russell (FINALLY). This is my wish. ;-D

-Millie

I can't believe it's not butter!

FABIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Ok, Fabio winning was NOT what I expected at all. He comes from behind on the first immunity challenge of the finale, and saves himself again. Dan gets voted off, no surprise. Final Four: Holly, Chase, Fabio, Sash. Didn't see that coming in the beginning of the season. I never would've guess any of those for the final four. They come back, and Fabio knows he is on the outs. He knows his only shot is winning immunity. Cut to day 38. The predictable "reflect on the people who got voted off before you." Man, this show is so predictable, following the same formula every year. Final three, visit from home challenge, reflect on the people that "got you here," merge, hidden immunity, etc. Back to the final immunity challenge. And, as always, final challenge is some kind of stamina/balance challenge. First Holly goes, then Chase, leaving Sash and Fabio to battle it out. Fabio wins, and the final three is now unsettled. Definitely didn't see Fabio making it there, battling through adversity to get there. Good for him. Now comes the scrambling. And Sash knows he's the odd man out. He knows Chase and Holly want him gone, so what does he do? He straight up lies to Fabio. There's no way he would've taken Fabio. Serious? Fortunately, Fabs sees through the BS and doesn't believe him. After this final episode, I realized I never gave Fabs credit for being as smart as he is. I don't think he played as good a strategy game as the others, but he played a smart people reading game.

Fast forward to Tribal. Fabio outs Sash as a liar, and I couldn't help laughing. The jury doesn't believe Sash, and Sash loses a million bucks. I think Fabio knew this would happen, and votes of Holly. Smart move. Holly pretty much had a million if she made it to the final, and give her credit for making a concerted effort to make it there. She tried hard, but ultimately Fabs and Chase vote her off, and now for the jury showdown. While the season was full of idiots and dumb moves, I was actually surprised at how decent the jury was. Highlights from the final jury showdown included: Jane calling Sash a sewer rat while looking like one herself (*shudder*), Chase flat out telling Marty he was (in Marty's own words) "dumber than a sack of hammers," and Dan saying Chase and Sash stabbed him in the back (really Dan? They didn't have any allegiance/alliance with you at all!).

Fast forward again to LA. The counting of the votes. Chase has put on weight, Sash looks more flaming than during the season, and Fabs has a haircut (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!). Chase takes a quick 4-1 lead, and I all of a sudden get sad. Chase? Really? Fabio pulls out 4 straight votes and takes the title of Sole Survivor! I jump up and run around the living room. Thank JESUS Chase or Sash didn't win! Phew...good ending to a rather crappy season.

Fabio winning introduces a TOTALLY new way to play the game and win...maybe? Maybe it's only for when you're playing with idiots, but it's still a viable option. It's a social game while playing dumb. Not so much dumb, just...well I don't know how to describe it. He just came alive at the end, when it mattered. Just hang out, don't disrupt anything until you have immunity, and then watch others unravel in front of the jury. I doubt this works with smart gameplayers like Russel, Boston Rob, Parvati or anyone else like that, but it worked this season. He layed around, waiting for his moment. That came at Tribal calling out Sash, and that won him a million. Not the most strategic, never was in power until the final 3 tribals when he had immunity, but had the power when it was needed most. Outwit, outlast, outplay. He outwitted Sash at the end, outplayed Chase at the end, and outlasted everyone by winning the 5 minimum necessary votes at the end. Congrats to Fabio, and a giant thank you for ending this season on a high note. I haven't seen the Reunion show yet, but will soon, and looking forward to seeing where the next season is going to be.

Only the finale is left

What a...boring...episode. Fabio was next on the line, the writing was on the wall, but he won immunity! Thank God, the only person left that actually is worth rooting for wasn't going home. But before we get into what was the most interesting Tribal of the season, there are some things I need to complain about to the producers of Survivor. The Reward Challenge was predictable. Family members come running out of the woods for the big reunion hug, lots of tears, then a challenge where they help try to win an immediate trip to someplace beautiful. The winner also gets to take two other Survivors with them, and usually the left out people get hurt and cry back at camp. Is there another way to do this producers? Your show has become SO predictable sometimes. The only thing unpredictable about this season is when the power play going to come? The closest thing to a power play was Sash and Chase voting Brenda off. This season is boring if that's all we got.

So Chase wins reward, and after promising Fabio he would take him, spurns him for Holly. I definitely saw that coming, as Chase is stupid and not playing for Jury votes (assuming he makes it to the final 3). He continually promises people that he will take them on rewards and never takes them. He is a bigger liar than anyone ever on Survivor, and it's not because he's ruthless. It's because he's stupid. Of course, rightfully so, Jane and Fabio were both pissed. The perplexing thing was Dan. Nobody cares about him, so why was he upset Chase didn't pick him? Dan is just a body that no one will ever vote for because he is the corpse they drag along as a vote/easy loser of a million. All things aside, Fabio turns his anger and frustration into an immunity win, and things are better for fans of the show. The best part was when Jane joined the power 3, and they told her they were voting her off. She then became a little 4 year old and throws water on the fire. I laughed so hard, and couldn't believe how the tide had turned. Two episodes ago, Sash was the power person out of the final 3. Seriously Chase, you change your mind way too much. The true Sole Survivor has a plan, and sticks with it. I have never seen the person with the most power make so many changes and for no other reason than he's wishy-washy.

Tribal comes around, and (of course this would happen after I praise his skills a week earlier) Jeff TOTALLY tries to change the game. He basically told Jane, Fabio and Dan that if they forced a tie they might break up the big 3 that is going to the final 3. I couldn't believe what I was seeing! I have never seen Jeff basically tell people how to vote. It was unreal, and I think he is as bored with this season as I am. But of course, in keeping with the theme of this season, Dan and Fabio are too dumb to make any kind of move and Jane gets voted off. My analysis of the recently eliminated Jane and the final 5.

Jane - I honestly am glad she's gone. Now I don't have to listen to her talk anymore. Although I have to be honest, I thought she could've made her plea to Fabio and the corpse a little a) sooner and b) more desperately. Now that she's gone, we don't have to deal with her drawl anymore...phew!

Dan - AKA The Corpse. Somehow he's still here. Oh, and his kid looked NOTHING like him. Lucky kid. Whatever Dan is doing it's working, but I get the feeling it's being incompetent, lazy and unathletic. He's the least likely person of the season to make it this far. Probably not just for this season, but in the history of Survivor he's the worst final 5 member.

Fabio - Still my favorite player left, he had the chance to earn some votes, kick off Holly, and make a move to solidify a probable final 3 spot. Now the only way he makes it to the final group is winning 2 more immunity challenges. Here's to him becoming Australia's Colby, but with how good Chase is at challenges I doubt that happens.

Chase - I know that I said he's the most powerful player left, and I will clarify. While I think Sash is calling the shots, Chase is more powerful because of his athleticism and challenge success. He won't win though, because no one on the jury thinks he is a good player, and I agree. He wouldn't have lasted this long any other season, but with the idiots that are on this season he is still around.

Sash - The only smart person left. And I say smart loosely. I still don't know what to think of him, but I am pretty sure he is your Nicaragua winner. Holly is his only competition for the win left. They both have played the best game this season, and he has been in the power alliance this whole game. But he did have to switch to get into the newest power alliance, making the right decision I guess. I don't know, this season just hasn't been that good.

Holly - The only woman left, and probably the second most likely to win. She has stayed in her alliance and made the decisions to get them to the most powerful. She made the right decision to vote Jane off, and didn't really break any promises to her like Chase, not really burning any jury votes. I am pretty sure she has the most jury votes outside of Sash. This is, of course, assuming the power 3 make it to the final.

Ok, my predictions for the finale tonight. Fabio doesn't win the first immunity, gets voted off. Dan then gets voted off without a fight. Wow, I just put Dan in the final four...ouch... The final three then does the long walk reflecting on all the other stupid people from this season, then we get to the jury vote. What will Nay say? How harsh will Jane be? What will Marty and Brenda say to Chase and Sash? Can't wait for the jury time, but I don't care who wins. If I had to guess (and I do since this is my "predictions section"), Sash wins in a 5-3-1 vote over Holly and Chase respectively. Then everyone quits watching, as no one cares about a reunion show, and looks forward to next season with less idiots and hopefully a less predictable sequence of events.